MARINE CORPS AIR STATION IWAKUNI, Japan -- We've all heard those wedding bells ringing before. A couple is being joined in the hand of marriage, and thus, beginning their new life together.
A happy and momentous occasion for most, but for others the event marks the beginning of a despicable lie that may last a lifetime.
A common occurrence has been plaguing military installations overseas. Some service members have been making the commitment to get married, but not for the sole purpose to spend the rest of their life with their significant other but rather for the financial benefits that come along with marriage. In the events that follow, the service member will change duty stations or ultimately get out of the military all together while leaving their spouse confused and alone.
Although this can be classified as abandonment and therefore be charged accordingly, a moral aspect is also at stake while participating in an act of this kind.
"Marriage is the ultimate trust relationship. It is no more risky for one person than the other. When we consider this risk from the standpoint of the other person, we enter the realm of moral discourse. You need to ask yourself, what is the right thing to do, regardless of the cost? What are the consequences of this behavior to all involved? Is this how I would like to be treated?" said Lt. j.g. Stephen Coates, Station chaplain.
Sgt. John Vasquez, Headquarters and Headquarters Squadron S-1 noncommissioned officer-in-charge, stated that certain cases have surfaced where a spouse was not able to obtain their visa or chose not to accompany their military spouse back to the states, or possibly follow them there later in time.
"Sometimes its very hard to prove a service member has in fact abandoned their spouse because we have to prove the person had no intention whatsoever as to bring his spouse along with him," said Vasquez. "For service members to be recognized and receive the benefits of someone married all they need to do is provide a marriage certificate and in the eyes of the command they are in fact married."
Even though money may be a motivating factor in the whole scam, Coates said service members must understand what they are getting into before they say, 'I do.'
"Marriage is a special coming together of two individuals, but it is also a place to refine the skills of loving another person in practical, meaningful ways. Marriage is not entirely defined by the mystery of love and commitment. It is also a skill-based relationship. Do great basketball teams have camaraderie and spirit? Of course they do. But they also have plays and skills they are constantly refining. The same is true for marriage," he said. "People who marry for selfish reasons and attempt to maintain the marriage on selfish grounds will not likely enjoy their desired goals very long."